Heyyyy, it’s been a while since I’ve done any movie posts. The last time I mentioned a movie on this blog was LAST YEAR! Holy cinematic deprivation, Batman! Well, folks, I think it’s time for the very first…
Itty Bitty Movie Bits Marathon!
I shall do itty bitty useless pseudo reviews about the movies I’ve seen recently. But first, guess which movies? Hah right.
Source Code, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga. Synopsis: Jake Gyllie is an Airforce dude who wakes up in someone else’s body on a commuter train. Michelle Monaghan is sitting infront of him and looking at him like he’s crazy ’cause he’s acting crazy. Eight minutes later the friggin’ train explodes! Goodbye, Jakey! Oh, wait, he’s not dead. He’s strapped inside his fighter plane and is talking to Vera Farmiga on a monitor and Vera’s like, “Who’s the bomber, Capt. Crazy?? Who’s the bomber??” Okay, she really didn’t say that, but that was basically what she was after the whole time. And that’s the plot of the whole movie, friends – Capt. Jakey keeps getting sent back to a specific point in time to find the identity of the train bomber and he only has 8 minutes every time (although 8 minutes seemed to get longer and longer every time he’s zapped back in the past). Itty Bitty Pseudo Review: It was a pretty entertaining movie. No fancy special effects, but it was cool. It had a little drama factor revolving around the truth about Capt. Jakey and how he got involved in the time travel mission thing. They had to make the ending sappy though. Tsk. Vera Farmiga’s really pretty.
Limitless, starring Bradley Cooper, Abbie Cornish, Robert De Niro. Synopsis: Bradley Boy’s a writer, struggling at that, evidenced by the fake scraggly hair and his broody I-have-writer’s-block look. One day he bumps into his ex-wife’s bro who gives him a little pill that BBoy promptly pops in his mouth after about ten seconds of contemplation. BAM! He’s a super genius and finishes his awesome book in one sitting. Unfortunately, genius mode only lasts one day so he goes to ex-bro-in-law for more magic beans. Ex-bro-in-law gets whacked and BBoy steals his magic bean stash, which he starts taking every day and he goes on to become a really successful stock trading person something or other. Unfortunately, he starts feeling the side effects of his brain working full time over time while evading the bad guys who want in on the magic bean high. Itty Bitty Pseudo Review: Also another pretty interesting movie, only this time with colorful and dizzying cinematography. They have several scenes where the camera zooms in and zooms in and zooms in very very very fast, obviously to show how fast hours and days fly by when you’re high on insta-genius drugs. The movie had one of those WAIT, WHAT? endings – the kind that leaves you with limitless possibilities. Right on.
Rio, starring cartoon birds that sound a lot like Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, Leslie Mann, Rodrigo Santoro, Jamie Foxx, and Will i Am. Synopsis: Blu, who is a domesticated exotic bird of the highly endangered variety and who sounds like the guy who invented Facebook, lives with his owner Linda (Leslie Mann) in a small American town. They fly to Brazil with Tulio (Rodrigo Santoro), bird research man, so Blu can save his species by hooking up with feisty Jewel (Anne Hathaway), Blu’s female endangered exotic bird counterpart. Blu and Jewel get birdnapped by smugglers and their adventure begins! The whole movie is about them escaping and trying to get away, Blu learning to fly and finding his way back to his buddy Linda, and, of course, Blu and Linda finding loooove. Itty Bitty Pseudo Review: You can’t go wrong with most animated films. They’re fun and light and funny and bursting with songs. This is one of those fun, light, funny, music-filled animated movies. Never mind the cliche story line and the rushed ending, just samba!
Beastly, starring Alex Pettyfer, Vanessa Hudgens. Synopsis:Ah, yes, a modern re-telling of Beauty and the Beast. You have VanVan Hudgens as the Beauty, a down-to-earth girl who’s on a scholarship and likes going to the convenience store at late hours to buy coffee and Jujyfruits, and there’s Alex “Really Hot Even with Beastly Tattoos” Pettyfer as the Beast, gorgeous richie rich meanie boy who messes with the wrong goth girl, is turned beastly and is given one year to make someone fall in love with him despite his ghastly appearance. Fairy tale stuff. So it’s set in the modern times and goth girl has real witchy powers. Itty Bitty Pseudo Review: Okay, I admit it. I was intrigued by this movie because of Really Hot Alex’s cool beastly tattoos. Hah. Anyway, the movie had a potential to be really cool despite being a fairy tale, but it just had some really weird storylines. It’s based on a book so maybe they just forced everything to fit? Tsk tsk. Anyway, Alex’s really hot, but my favorite character was the goth girl, played brilliantly by Mary-Kate Olsen. I wanna wear her for halloween.
That’s all, folks! Have a great weekend!